I changed my picture from what it was before when i realised i actually look a lot like the girl in the picture now. So i thought…why not! Now my picture is actually me. I never thought that would happen… 

So since the day i made this blog i’ve been anonymous and i like the security in that but i think it’s time to actually show who i am. I’m more or less done with my weight loss journey and now i’m on a fitness journey. 

I have another blog where i posted my before and afters - http://misfitting-skin.tumblr.com/ 

I also posted a video on youtube and the pictures on my facebook. It’s probably the best decision i’ve ever made. I haven’t purged or starved for almost a whole month now. I’m finally proud of what i’ve done but i can’t say i feel like this everyday. I know it doesn’t all get better over night. 

I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks whilst i’ve been figuring out everything. So hi, my name is Scola, i’ve had this blog for like over a year and this is what i look like:

So….i’m not anonymous anymore.lol. 

I need that feeling of being lighter again, i need the empty feeling in my stomach…i need to lose weight again. Of course, only i would end up with a habit that makes me gain weight. I’ve even tried figuring out why i end up binging, i’ve really tried to hunt for the deeper meaning but i just don’t know why i can’t just stop eating.   

I used to be able to restrict so well. I will look back at my posts from when i was restricting…i’m sure it will trigger something to help me stop binging.

I went on a run and only managed to burn 295 calories. I was aiming for 300 and over. I know i probably burned the extra 5 calories power walking home but i still feel really disappointed. 

The rational side of me is saying that it’s a good amount to burn and hell of a lot more than if i’d stayed at home binging like i have been the last few months. I don’t know why i’m always so hard on myself but i just feel so frustrated with myself for not burning enough… 

Anyway, I ate under 1500 calories i’m sure and i haven’t binged. A small victory. The good thing about it is i’m not going cold turkey, that’s what brings on the binging, i still let myself have treats but i will slowly cut them down in the run up to my holiday at the start of April. 

I didn’t get a chance to weigh myself today so i have no idea where i’ll be at tomorrow morning…i guess we’ll just have to wait and see.